Friday, July 25, 2008

A Blog Reader Strikes Back - A Priceless Parody from Mark Sohmer

In response to the recent Blog posting, "Broadway at Its Best," my friend and faithful reader of The White Rhino Report, Mark Sohmer wrote a comment. His extended parody of a typical life in the day of The White Rhino is so creative that I want to makes sure it gets a wide audience. I don't mind a laugh at my own expense, especially when it as cleverly done as is Mark's piece. I trust you will enjoy his sense of humor as much as I do.


Mark "I LOVE AL" Sohmer has left a new comment on your post "Broadway at Its Best – “August: Osage County”":

"A Day in the Life off Renaissance Man Al Chase"

~ A Parody in One Act ~

by Mark Sohmer

Dear Diary,

Today was pretty blah. Nothing unusual. It started with a flight to Washington D.C. to meet with the President's Adviser on Foreign Affairs. I had been introduced to him through a mutual friend while eating muffins at the most lovely establishment in Paris that you just must try.

During the meeting with this dignitary, we realized we had mutual friends in the Pentagon, we we took a stroll over there. There was a problem with me not having proper clearance, but the guard recognized me from my stint playing Tevye [played by the actor, Topol, in the film version] many summers ago, so he agreed to let me in if I would autograph his notebook. It was the least I could do.

Due to the bad weather, my flight to Logan was diverted to Chicago, and I had to wait in the airport there for an hour. What do you know! Who should walk by my terminal but Johnny Damon. Johnny remembered me as the fun-loving guy who used to watch him play so often back in Fenway. Although he has never admitted it publicly, over a coffee in the terminal, he told me that he often regrets his decision to cut his hair and join when he called "the dark side." Then he said some unkind words about Steinbrenner and was off. Oh, but not before he let me try his Red Sox world series ring.

I was a bit embarrassed, but it got stuck on my finger, and his flight was leaving, so he told me to keep it and just mail it back to him when I got the chance. Nice kid.

Once I reached Boston, there was a bit of trouble getting through the gate because there was a family having difficulty with security guards. Apparently there was a communication problem. As I got closer to the melee, I realized it was due to the guards not being able to understand the people, and it became apparent why. They were speaking the most charming dialect of Kiswahili, which I happened to have picked up in my extensive traveling in Uganda in my youth. So what a delight to revisit one of my favorite languages and translate for these people. They took me out for a mid-afternoon snack as thanks, and I enjoyed traditional matooke. Nice people. And would you believe that upon having a discussion, we discovered we shared a mutual friend in the embassy and I was able to setup a social networking connection?

When I got back to the office, I was so tired I was only able to read three novels.

And I was too pooped to call General Petraeus back. He had wanted my analysis on some recent West Point graduates. He's so high maintenance. Always wants my opinions.

Well, Diary, I'm heading to bed. As I said, nothing too out of the ordinary today. Another typical one. Perhaps something really exciting will happen tomorrow, like falafel lunch with my friend Mark Sohmer!

Habari za jioni


Mark, thank you. Let's schedule that falafel lunch soon!



Steve said...

it's only funny because it's because true.

Mark "I LOVE AL" Sohmer said...

Al, I'm honored that you liked my comment enough to make it its own posting! :)

To the White Rhino Report readers, Al and I used to meet for falafel in Boston's "Downtown Crossing" area fairly frequently when I used to work in Boston.

Now that I live and work in New Hampshire, sadly neither falafel nor Al Chase are easy to come by. This is regrettable for me because I always enjoyed sitting down with Al (except for that one time that a flying bird targeted me! I don't think that was tahini that landed on my leg!) Remember that Al? Ugh.

Joseph Bamber said...

yep, that is like the perfect cartoon caricature of Al in words !